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Feb. 2nd, 2008 | 09:21 am

here we go then.
this is that sacred time where there are no distractions and the opportunity to just "be" is screaming. i'm thinking and feeling in songs instead of thoughts and emotions. wtf? i used to be so good at this "me" time. at times i still am...
i have a very strong urge to be sarcastic with myself. considering how frequently i come across said urges, it's becoming fairly clear that i'm not taking myself, my thoughts, my emotions seriously.
she tells me to write. she tells me to write but i hesitate because this is what i do. fuck! this is way too dramatic, petty even, for me to take seriously. i just want to appreciate all the good things that i have and let everything else roll off my shoulders. i'd like to say that i exist pretty effictively considering all the shit i've dealt with. BAH! what shit? c'mon now.
this is what i do.
and i feel it produces negativity. of course i love pretending that it's passion. but seriously. i'm quite lacking in that department.
i don't like this.

i need a long vacation.

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