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Feb. 18th, 2008 | 10:40 pm

here's my plan:
i want to disappear for a while...go on a little vacation. i think it would be ideal to wait until the weather is warmer, so that i can go out into the woods and tie myself to a tree for three days. i want to be alone. and force myself to think. and to feel. and to learn to appreciate the things i have. i'm convinced that tying myself to a tree is the way to go.

plan b is visiting another country by myself, but that's gonna cost money. and i'd have to take off more days at work because visiting another country is gonna take longer than three days in order for it to be worth it. plus, i'd probably find too many things to do to distract myself from my goal.

i gotta do something.
i feel like i'm depressed...but i won't admit because i fear that if i do it will consume me, like it has my mother. i prefer to not take it seriously and trudge through. but i'm not getting anywhere.
it's really hard.
and i've started crying at dog food commercials.

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Comments {5}

Noble

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from: egosomnio
date: Feb. 19th, 2008 10:34 am (UTC)
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Unless you're the kind of person that can reach zen by being lost, yeah, another country would probably be extremely distracting. I know it would be for me.

I'd recommend finding a remote(ish) camp site for yourself, over tying yourself to a tree. Being tethered to a tree would make it difficult to react to danger, or gathr food. Or depending on the method, get away from the tree later. Camping alone isn't the safest thing in the world, but it's better than being restrained in the same sort of locale (of course, you'd have to tell someone you trust not to interrupt you where you went, so there'd be someone who knew where to look if you didn't come back when intended).

Also, talking to people about it. Even if it can be really hard, and also very distracting on its own.

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rosilee

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from: itsnotenough
date: Feb. 19th, 2008 02:21 pm (UTC)
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well, my thought was to restrain myself only to an extent...i'd bring water, and make it so that i could drink it. but i was thinking i'd go without food. 3 days wouldn't kill me. (also without cigarettes, hygeine, human contact) but reacting to danger..yeah i'm not sure about that. may be a concern.
i was also thinking that i'd have someone i trusted come with me, to tie me up and not tell me i'm crazy, and then come get me on the last day.

i have considered a campsite. but i don't know if it would work the way i want it too. maybe i'll try that as a less extreme first attempt.


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Noble

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from: egosomnio
date: Feb. 19th, 2008 03:22 pm (UTC)
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I'd recommend at least a little food, too. You might not starve to death in three days, but the morale-killer a complete lack of food over a few days can be, along with the weakening effects, wouldn't be good. Especially considering the possibility of having to deal with dangerous animals (and/or people). That'd be exacerbated by loneliness and nicotine withdrawal.

Camping allows you the ability to get away if you need to. That'd be my main concern with that versus being tethered. Danger (in the form of animals or people, or particularly bad weather, or the possibility of health issues, not matter how likely or un-) really needs to be kept in mind. Doesn't need to kill the idea, but preparation for such is important. The routine of keeping a fire going can be meditative, also (or it could be distracting...that depends on a few things).

Oh, also, wherever you'd do it, it'd be a good idea to scout out locations at different times of the day/night beforehand; for an idea of climate changes throughout the day, and for maybe taking note of signs of wildlife and people.

I'm kind of rambling/brainstorming with this. I'd planned a lone camp a long while back, but I never got around to it, so I may be pulling up some remembered thoughts from then, too.

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Katura

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from: katura
date: Apr. 13th, 2008 12:40 pm (UTC)
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I know you wrote this a while ago, but my first thought about being tethered to a tree for three days is that if you have to shit, you're gonna be sitting right next to your shit for three days.

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rosilee

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from: itsnotenough
date: Apr. 13th, 2008 03:48 pm (UTC)
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HAHAHAHAHHA
:)

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